Boy Meets Girl: Beside the seaside

Aug 12 2008 Playing the dating game with Ed Saunt & Vicki Eltis

Ed and Vicki head to Cornwall (separately) to check out what the West Country has to offer.

Ed's date: In the past Britain has been renowned for its fearsome navy, its vast empire and Maggie Thatcher. Now our great country’s most terrifying export is the Brit abroad.

Best known for sex in public, being sick on each other and throwing plastic furniture, the British holidaymaker is taking over Europe.

Not enamoured by previous trips to Mediterranean hellholes and humbled by the credit crunch, this year I decided to hit ‘the English OC’ – Cornwall.

However, not being one for the obvious destination like Vicki, I dragged my mates down to one of Britain’s less well-frequented holiday spots – Penzance.

On the promise of average-quality locals and West Cornwall’s premier strip club, my mates’ arms weren’t too tricky to twist.

I gently coaxed them too with the argument that it would be like being abroad. Unlike Newquay, there was no way we would know anyone there so there would be no consequences to our actions.

The faith they put in me was repaid in full when we unearthed a gem of a club called The Barn. While there were one or two locals who may have been in the wrong type of barn, the place was teeming with girls, most of whom were of a reasonable standard.

I did a bit of kissing with a girl who I later found out had a boyfriend but, as I bragged to my mates in the morning, it didn’t matter because I would never see her again. The beauty of the ‘holiday romance.’

So, imagine their glee later that day when in the legumes and pulses aisle of the local Tesco I came across the aforementioned girl with boyfriend in tow.

Needless to say the chat was nervy as I waited for the burly Cornishman to click. Thankfully he seemed more excited by a can of processed peas but I had learnt my lesson.

This one’s simple: don’t drop your guard on holiday or you may well get your face smashed in.

Vicki's date: With the festival season in full swing I headed to Newquay for the Ripcurl Boardmasters Festival at Watergate Bay.

Only three weeks from Lovebox I've got the festival buzz. Friday was fun but Saturday was even better.

With a backdrop of torrential rain and mud up to my calves I found romance despite looking slightly bedraggled wearing four jumpers, a waterproof and blue and white wellies.

My mates, who are dating each other had a domestic, so with one running off to find the other I was left to my own devises at the Relentless bar. It was a mobile bar with DJ's playing house music and a good excuse to keep out of the rain in-between acts.

It was there I met Andy, from Oxford. He was with five of his friends and they were all wearing bright orange ponchos. I'm not quite sure how we began talking. My memory is quite hazy!

We danced all night. We talked and we both splashed about in the mud as the Pigeon Detectives performed live on stage.

As they finished their act, they were headlining, we decided to make our way back to the camp site where we were both staying.

He walked me back to my tent and I got changed into some warmer clothes while he met my friends, who had now found each other, sorted out their argument and were regretting missing the main act.

He then took me to his tent where we sat outside and his mates made a camp fire and we drank shots of Amaretto to warm up.

It was very cozy and they were great people who made me feel very welcome.

Andy and I shared a kiss and then he wowed me with his party trick - fire eating!

However, after swilling some alcohol substance I couldn't really kiss him again.

Although he did invite me to stay the night in his tent I said no. It was 2am and by that point I was very tired.

He was the perfect gentleman, walking me back to my tent again, because I had trouble finding it in the dark. He was just a great gig buddy.