Boy Meets Girl: Turning over a new leaf

Oct 14 2008 Playing the dating game with Ed Saunt and Vicki Eltis

Vicki and Ed adopt a different approach to the dating game and ponder whether nice guys really do finish last.

Ed writes: Nice guys finish last. Everyone knows that. But, after 30-something weeks as an active singleton, I’d relish the opportunity to at least start a race.

Whether it’s because I’m too picky, too arrogant, too impatient (all Vicki’s criticisms and there are plenty more), I’ve barely made it past a first date in the last year.

I pick holes in every girl I meet and find the not caring and rude approach only encourages them.

A girl once told me the best trick she would use to snare a man is to leave a club or party without saying goodbye – the old treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen technique.

The problem is I have been treating them mean with no intention of keeping them keen and it has left me with little success and an inordinate amount of hassle.

So, I decided it was time to turn over a new leaf. No more fights with witches, no more using girls, no more arrogant Ed, and probably no referring to myself in the 3^rd person.

A month on, I’m a fantastic, new, changed, bored, depressed man.

Every time I get drunk policy goes out the window, I haven’t met one girl with any backbone and I have been storing up my evil thoughts and then venting them on some poor soul (nb: not a witch reference).

The new leaf has failed and it’s not just because ‘turning over a new leaf’ is one of the more ridiculous sayings in the phrasebook.

A veritable wise sage I know shed some light on it all during a debrief in homeward-bound cab after another failed night out.

"You can turn over a new leaf as many times as you like," he said. "The problem is, all it says on the other side is ‘same old, same old.’"

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Vicki writes: More often than not my friends and I have fallen for a bad boy!

You know the one. The one who draws our attention with a sexy smirk, one you so know he’s practiced on so many other women, and probably in his mirror!

One who gives us all the best lines, flatters us into his bedroom and then disappears off the face of the earth!

Why do we fall head over heels for the bad boy? And why have I, in my search for Mr Right, actually been seeking out Mr Oh So Wrong.

These are the questions I found myself asking at the weekend.

It all started three months ago when I met someone online and we spontaneously decided to meet for a drink. We hit it off straight away. We both love music and come from similar family backgrounds.

I saw him three times after that but became frustrated as our busy jobs made it difficult for us to arrange a time to meet and then he went traveling for three weeks.

I’d given up. He was elusive and never seemed that into me.

I didn’t even want to write about ‘S‘ in case it would tempt fate!

Well on Friday he text me. I shouldn’t have assumed that he meant for me to go over to his place! But I did. So when he turned up at the pub to meet my friends I was planning on going back to his.

As we all left the pub I got in his car, but he passed his house explaining he was taking me home.

I was gutted! He was rejecting me!

He said that it was because he liked me he was taking me home. He didn’t want to take advantage of me.

Here was a true gentleman and I was acting like a drunken, stroppy child (not a good look).

I’m going to change my attitude there’s nothing wrong with the strong, silent type.

There is still hope for me yet as the next day ‘S’ invited me to go to a gig with him.

And yes he might not be a bad boy but I am going with him.

Watch this space!