Boy Meets Girl: 40 weeks of dating

Nov 21 2008 Playing the dating game with Ed Saunt and Vicki Eltis

After 40 weeks of trying all kinds of dating, Ed and Vicki stop for a breather and ponder whether they are any closer to finding that elusive Mr or Miss special.

Ed writes: I’m tired. Really, really tired. And not, unfortunately, because I was up all weekend chasing and romancing the ladies. It’s just fatigue.

Have you ever said a word or phrase out loud so many times it no longer makes sense? You know – ‘red lorry, yellow lorry, red lorry, yellow lorry etc.’

Well, imagine the same with dating, except you’re not saying the word, you’re living the word. All you’ll do is hit a big red brick wall.

I’ve tried speed dating, internet dating, blind dating, virtual dating, wine tasting dating, witch dating, conventional dating, holiday dating and pretty much every other type of dating and where am I? Smashed against a wall.

In the early weeks (of my 40) as a dating columnist I found myself enlightened about the ways of the courting world, enjoying both the anthropological and emotional side to it.

But, as time has passed, my relationship with the dating world has begun to resemble that of a bitter husband who married the wrong girl too young.

I have lost sight of the lovely parts of women – the fun, the frolics, the flirtations. I have professionalised (excuse the brash Americanism) my emotions and now see women as projects with deadlines.

I have lost my mojo, and – with it – any chance of finding love but I’m sure I’ll be able to recapture it. All I need to do is get these blasted lorries out of my head.

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Vicki writes: I've had a quiet week this week and for a change it's quite nice!

Last week I decided to delete all the numbers in my mobile of male friends and past acquaintances I haven't spoken to in the last month.

There's no point in hanging on to what could be. If something was going to happen it would have by now.

It felt good. Liked I'd wiped the slate clean of all the time wasters I have encountered over the last 40 odd weeks of writing this column.

I've been told not to mention Mr special B anymore and shock horror I finally agree and think this is a good thing!

Mr T is just a figment of my imagination, whose Mr T?

And well ‘S’ is certainly still in my phonebook and will remain there for a long while yet.

You know friends and family have often said ‘stop looking then the man of your dreams might just appear out of nowhere!’

I know this is probably right and it's hard not to look when you write a dating column each week but I don't know if I'm ready to give up searching, well having fun!

So although, earlier on in the week, I began to lose faith and almost started to feel sorry for myself in my love-lost pit, I pulled myself together again and remembered the good things about being single.

I don't have to bore my friends to tears telling them about arguements I could be having with potentially said boyfriend, I can do whatever I want whenever I want without having to please someone else and I can have a ‘sloppy day’ in my pyjamas without worrying what a said man might think.

What's the rush?

I am still young and have all the time in my life, well just about!